Thoughts

Interviews

Every time I do an interview I feel like a complete idiot that has no idea what he’s talking about. I feel like an imposter that doesn’t know what he’s talking about and is making everything up. I had a phone interview today for a SEM/SEO manager position that I think would have been a good fit given it’s ability to be remote, it’s work i enjoy doing and i think the pay would be decent. And I felt like a deer in headlights. I don’t know why i have such an issue explaining myself. I know I’m not the most knowledgable, but i do think i know a bit of what I’m talking about. Maybe it’s intimidation or imposter syndrome? I don’t know.

The other part that bothers me is that, like a friend said to me, I seem to attract the weirdest jobs/job owners. A firm i interviewed with wants to set up a second interview, but they continue to try and reschedule semi-last minute, which bothers me. I know i prefer smaller businesses because they tend to give more freedom and the more abilities to try new things and experiment. But they also end up with the most frustrating owners. I get that money is tight when it comes to running a small business, but it’s frustrating when your time isn’t given the respect and courtesy you’re expected to give.

I want to attract the type of job that going to pay well, give me some freedom, and make me feel accomplished or satisfied.

Is that asking too much?

Affirmations

Affirmations.

They're easy to create and recite. They can be unlimited and cover a variety of topics. The concept is easy and makes sense.

The hard part is actually believing them. 

Because no matter how many times or how long you say them, until you believe them, they can't help you.

2018

I've been staring at a blank text box for most of today. I want to write something, but I don't know what. I don't have anything terribly interesting or intelligent to say. I don't typically do anything "cool" or "fun." And quite honestly, the highlight of my New Year's Eve weekend was the couple of minutes I spent with this pup (no offense to anyone, but puppy beats people every time).

Me + Stark

As I'm writing this, I'm sitting on the couch next to my Mom, who's not been feeling well since yesterday. It hasn't exactly been the best start to a new year. I've refreshed YouTube, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat more times than I'd like to admit, all in an effort to avoid life. 

I've already talked about what I'd like to accomplish this year, but I'm willing to trade accomplishing any of those things if it means my Mom can finally start feeling better. It's been a long four and a half years for everyone, and her most of all. So I'd be more than happy to...

Sorry, I just took another "break." 

Spend your life living.

More than anything, I just want her to be better. Because she deserves it. And when she's better, I know everything else will be better.